Been reading the newspaper again. Frightening thing when times are so bad that the real world can pull me away from my MTV2.  It was related to the brutal murder of Anthony Walker by what can be technically described as racist fuckheads.

His is just one in many racial hatred crimes that have occurred – some 50,000 this year.  And after the events of 7^th and the non-events of 21^st of July, those figures will be bolstered by the number of feeble minded morons who believe firebombing a mosque is a suitable method to stop terrorism – or at least that’s the excuse many will hide behind.

I thought it was sad, but my heart really bled today, hearing the full extent of what happened.  After being taunted by a pack of scum in a scene recreated all over Britain on a daily basis, the victim, his girlfriend and his cousin were chased, one of them had an axe.  They ran, but Anthony was not fast enough.  Now, not only does the cousin, Marcus Binns, have to face the fact a member of his family was brutally murdered without much motive – but he will live the rest of his life with a host of punishing ‘what ifs’ he will feel that he left him behind.  No matter that these bastards would have led him to the same fate; he will torture himself that if he had gone back that he could have done something to prevent it.

I shed a tear of my own at the message he left at the scene of the murder by Binns.

‘Im sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry.’

But what really got me thinking was hearing about how some of the younger members of the family considered reprisals.  (Quote taken from Independent report by Afira Akbar/Ian Herbert)

“Some of the brothers were taking a war council and saying we’ve

got to kill, we should take three of [the racists] for this,”

Thankfully Walker’s mother set them straight.  But its easy to see something like that happening.  When any member of your family is hurt, that element of revenge comes in to play.  But to have a member of your family taken away in such a terrible manner is beyond the scope of my comprehension.  But is it enough to justify an eye for an eye.  These thoughts can only be further fuelled by the pathetic, shambolic failure to bring Stephen Lawrence’s bastard murderers to justice.  There must be some part of their minds wondering if the same fate could befall the teenage sh#ts that embedded an axe into Walkers skull.

Myself?  I am a protective person.  I adore my friends and family, my friends in particular – after so long without them each one from closest to friendly acquaintance has immense importance to me.  The thought of bad things happening to them fills me with dread, and when people or something threatens them, this weak and feeble body seems to forget its limitations.  But I’ve not had an occasion where revenge would be possible, and I’m not sure I ever want to.

Recently a couple of things led me to fear for a loved ones safety.  Twice. Though both were ridiculous fears, it still hammered home that living without this person was one of my greatest fears and that I wanted to protect this person from all harm.  The truth is im not sure how vengeful I am - but someone made a close friend feel like a sack of meat – and I fear that the next time I meet this person (also a friend) I’m going to make sure he regrets ever treating her with such disrespect.

But these occasions do not come close to what the Walker family and those that cared for Anthony must be feeling.  The urge for revenge amongst the younger members must be frightening, but I hope that Walker’s mother’s words hit home.  Arrests have been made swiftly (hopefully the police aware how detrimental it will be if they fuck up as royally as they did with the Lawrence case) and any ‘reprisals’ would only be detrimental to the hurt everyone is already feeling.

So what of revenge?

Is it worth it?  I certainly don’t believe a murder for a murder would help things, but its never happened to me.  What if someone I care about was harmed, or raped, or worse? My blood would boil.  No one hurts my friends, and I know that if someone hurt any one of them, it wouldn’t matter how physically weak I am, I would keep getting back up until they were hurt.  Big words, but ive never met a situation where this has been called into question.

Im no Hamlet.